In what might be the most bizarre climate solution ever conceived, Denmark has actually – and I’m not making this up – agreed to implement the world’s first tax on agricultural emissions, including livestock FLATULENCE.
That’s right. Farmers will now be required to pay 300 kroner (roughly $43) per TONNE of methane produced by cows and pigs, a fee that will skyrocket to 750 kroner by 2035. Because apparently, taxing animal gas is now a legitimate environmental strategy.
The government claims this is part of their grand “Green Tripartite” plan, with Minister Jeppe Bruus dramatically declaring they’ll “do what it takes” to reach climate goals. Translation: We’re going to charge farmers for their animals’ digestive processes.
Their ambitious plan includes transforming agricultural land into forests and “natural spaces” – because who needs food production when you can have trees? They’re even planning to restore peatlands and plant 250,000 hectares of new forest.
The minister solemnly proclaimed this will change Danish nature in a way unseen since wetlands were drained in 1864. Because taxing cow farts is totally equivalent to a major historical landscape transformation.
Welcome to climate policy in 2024, where even bovine gas is now a line item in the national budget. Unbelievable.